Winter 2004

American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence:
Five Ways to Fight Domestic Violence

1. Know What Domestic Violence Is.

When spouses, intimate partners, or dates use physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, harassment, or stalking to control the behavior of their partners, they are committing domestic violence. Most victims of domestic violence are women. Children who witness domestic violence are also victims; they suffer from behavioral and cognitive problems. Boys, especially, are more likely to be aggressive and engage in criminal behavior if they grow up in homes where domestic violence exists.

2. Develop A Safety Plan.

If you, a relative, a friend, or a neighbor are experiencing domestic violence, think about ways to make yourself safer. Leave a spare set of keys, emergency money, important phone numbers, and documents like birth certificates, passports, bankbooks, and insurance papers in a safe place your batterer doesn't know about, for example, with a trusted friend or relative. Plan how to get out of your home quickly and safely, should a battering incident begin. Think about a safe place to go to once you leave your home. If you can, learn local crisis hotline numbers, so that you can call for advice or assistance.

3. Call 911.

If you are being battered -- or you know that a relative, friend, or neighbor is being battered by a spouse or intimate partner -- call the police right away for help, if you can get to a phone safely. Don't be afraid to ask for immediate help. Domestic violence is a crime, not a "private family matter."

4. Exercise Your Legal Rights.

You -- or anyone else experiencing domestic violence -- have the right to go to court and petition for an order of protection if you have been battered in one of the fifty states, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia. In most parts of the country, you can also ask for custody of your children and child support at the same time. You should try to get a lawyer to represent you and protect all of your rights under the law. Call your state or local coalition against domestic violence, a state or local crisis hotline, or the state or local bar association to learn more about where to find legal help. In Connecticut, Statewide Legal Services provides legal help if you are a victim of domestic violence. Call 800-453-3320.

5. Get Help For Your Family So That The Violence Will Stop.

There is a toll-free Connecticut Statewide Hotline number: 1-888-774-2900. This number will refer you to your nearest domestic violence agency. These agencies can also refer you to an attorney. Check the Index of Community Resources for hotline numbersrs of local domestic violence agencies.

For more information about the Commission and its activities, contact the Commission staff at

ABA Commission on Domestic Violence
740 15th Street, NW
9th Floor
Washington, DC 20005-1022.2